Helen Schucman and Religion

When it came to God Helen Schucman was a person of extreme opposites.

Like a pendulum she would swing between the two.

In later life, although she was the scribe of the spiritual classic A Course in Miracles, Helen declared herself an atheist.

In spite of ACIM’s themes of inner peace and forgiveness Helen felt great confusion and conflict towards the Course.

Helen’s early religious experiences

Helen’s Schucman’s parents were half Jewish. However neither of them was interested in their Jewish heritage. Helen’s mother resented her Jewish roots and explored a variety of other religious avenues. Helen’s father was completely disinterested in all forms of religion.

Helen and Catholicism

Helen’s fascination with Catholicism was a thread that would weave its way through her life and it started when she was 5 years old with her Catholic governess Miss Richardson.

Miss Richardson went to church every Sunday, but the non-catholic Helen was not allowed in and had to wait outside. Helen became fascinated with the tantalizing glimpses of candles, flowers and music.

She was enthralled with Miss Richardson’s rosary and the mesmerizing prayers her governess would whisper nightly.

Concluding there was a spiritual hole in her life Helen decided to speak to her father to discover more about her religious roots.

In typical style her father seemed rather indifferent to the whole subject, however Helen persisted and he recited a Jewish prayer for her.

Armed with this prayer, of which she could only remember the first line, ‘Lord God of Israel’ Helen was temporarily delighted to class herself a Jew.

However her excitement was short-lived. A traumatic trip to hospital seriously dented her new-found faith. She soon became angry at God and shortly afterwards concluded that there was no Jewish God.

Helen’s Miracle at Lourdes

When she was 12 years old Helen Schucman visited the French pilgrimage town of Lourdes. This town, which is famous for its miraculous cures, greatly impressed Helen. She struck by the crutches and braces that had been discarded by those who had been healed at the Blessed Virgin Mary shrine.

Whilst at Lourdes Helen was captivated by the processions, flowers and music. The magic of Catholicism started to enchant her again.

One evening Helen decided to do a deal with God. Closing her eyes she said she would become a Catholic if God would send a shooting star as a sign. When she opened her eyes the sky was filled with shooting stars and Helen was stunned at this miracle.

However her amazement was fleeting. When Helen realised meteor showers were a fairly frequent occurrence for the time of year she soon started to rationalise the experience away and doubted it was ever a miracle.

She reasoned that had God really sent the shooting stars to prove his existence then least he could have done was to make sure she would have believed it.

Once again she turned her back on God.

Helen Schucman continues her religious search

Without any spiritual guidance from her parents one of Helen’s main religious influences was her family’s maid. Georgia was a staunch Baptist and every evening she read the bible to Helen, this was a ritual they both really enjoyed.

One day Georgia invited her to church and Helen could hardly contain her excitement. She was entranced with the energy of the songs and prayers, feeling happy and at home Helen decided to go back to the church again.

In church Helen sang and prayed with everyone else, however outside, when she tried talking to God, she wasn’t sure if there was anyone there.

It was Georgia’s enthusiasm that encouraged the 13 year old Helen to become baptised. Helen hoped baptism would kick start her faith.

However when her post baptism euphoria began to wane she soon stopped going to church realising, “There was no use. I did not have faith.“

Helen Schucman and religion as a young adult

Helen’s search for God went on hold when she discovered philosophy and logic. She was a talented student and had a voracious appetite for reading. Although reason and logic became her new religion the Catholic Church still held a fascination for her.

During her early married life she would go to Mass daily and say prayers to protect Louis her husband from illness and death. It was almost an addiction. Helen describes this fixation with the church more as a ‘prison’ rather than a support.

Helen Schucman’s operation

As a young adult Helen was often unhappy and her weight, which had been a problem for much of her young life, added to her misery. Her obsessive eating and dieting eventually affected her health and her gall bladder often left her in agony.

She resisted going to hospital, but eventually relented - the gall bladder had to be removed. Wearing the medal of the Blessed Virgin around her neck she was wheeled into the operating theatre.

There were big complications and Helen nearly died. When she became conscious a Catholic nurse who had noticed Helen’s Blessed Virgin medal said she would say a mass of thanksgiving for this miracle of her survival.

Helen, was very angry and blamed God for the whole episode. She heatedly told the nurse that she couldn’t stop her from praying but she would “…appreciate her not asking God for another miracle, at least until I was strong enough to cope with this one.”

Helen Schucman and the subway experience

Helen’s battle against God continued with a vengeance. It got to a point where she would get irritated and angry if anyone even mentioned God.

It was at this point, when she was most strongly an atheist that she had a strange spiritual experience on the subway.

Helen hated taking the subway and she was fed up and annoyed when one cold evening Louis pressurized her to take a train. She sulked all the way to the station and continued sulking on the train itself. It was a smelly, dirty and packed and the longer she was on it the more Helen sank into a mire of despondency.

Suddenly a dramatic experience engulfed her and a blinding light blazed up behind her closed eyes. These are Helen’s words from her unpublished autobiography

“The light grew even brighter, and I felt the most indescribably intense love streaming from the light to me. It was so powerful that I literally gasped and opened my eyes. I saw the light an instant longer, during which I loved everyone on the train with the same incredible intensity.”

Although this incident did not dramatically change Helen in any way, it did remain with her for some time. It seems that however hard she fought her spirituality she could never stop it completely.

Helen Schucman and ACIM

The story of Helen Schucman scribing ACIM makes interesting reading. Just before Helen Schucman wrote ACIM she experienced some further mystical and spiritual dreams. Bill Thetford came to refer to these as Helen’s ‘magic phase’. Helen was never easy with this magic phase and she remained angry towards God and religion.

 It’s easy to see why Helen, the angry atheist, was so resistant to writing A Course in Miracles. The Course is littered with Christian language and terminology.

Helen managed to write it by detaching herself from the Voice. She had the capacity to ‘tune’ in and out of the Voice at will.

She could stop listening to it mid sentence to take a phone call and continue where she left off immediately afterwards.

Helen’s death and Jesus

In later years Helen withdrew from any involvement with A Course in Miracles and in her last few months as she was dying from pancreatic cancer she withdrew from friends and colleagues as well.

Kenneth Wapnick (who eventually wrote Helen’s autobiography) became her close friend. When Helen Schucman died in hospital Ken comments on the contrast of her face in death.

“(It).. had a remarkably quiet expression of peace, so different from the tortured disquiet we had grown so accustomed to … I suddenly recalled what Helen had shared with me on several occasions… Jesus had told her that when she died, he would come for her personally…” Ken Wapnick believes that Jesus fulfilled his promise and when she died she died peacefully in the presence of Christ.

Information and Sources

Absence from Felicity - Kenneth Wapnick
The Complete Story of the Course - D. Patrick Miller
Journey Without Distance - Robert Skutch
Foundation for Inner Peace